


Summer Nights

by funkylilwriter



Series: Summer of 2018 [5]
Category: B.A.P, BLACKPINK (Band), Block B, NU'EST, VIXX
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Flirting, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Multi, camp leader Hakyeon, selectively mute Leo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 16:33:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15368730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funkylilwriter/pseuds/funkylilwriter
Summary: Everyone says that the first time as a camp leader is the most chaotic because you're only figuring out what to do, and the most boring because you get to meet very interesting people only later on.Hakyeon disagrees. He is a leader at heart so there is no chaos and he's already met someone very interesting; a boy who doesn't talk.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beesprout](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beesprout/gifts).



Hakyeon had been going to summer camps since he was a kid and as soon as he turned 18 he applied to be a camp leader. With a near ten years experience as a camper during which his leadership skills and responsible behaviour had been taken note of, he got the position right away.

This was amazing because he could finally boss his friends around with it being completely valid. Hongbin and Jaehwan always used to complain about it, but now they couldn’t anymore because Hakyeon in fact had the authority to put them in time-out.

 

The first day went more than well. It was the first real opportunity to test his leadership skills, especially one aspect that he had been quite worried about – his ability to enforce necessary rules without making anyone feel restrained. It seemed to work and he wasn’t getting a bad vibe from any of the campers. None of them seemed to be potentially problematic either, which was great.

At dinner, however, Hakyeon got a bit disappointed in himself as a leader.

Each group in the camp had their own table in the dining hall. They weren’t marked, but earlier camp leaders had agreed who’d use which one. They realized that one would be empty.

As Hakyeon glanced over to that spare table, he noticed that it wasn’t unoccupied as it should be.

A dark haired boy sat there on his own. His food was untouched and he was scribbling in a sketchbook.

Hakyeon threw a glance around the dining hall and locked eyes with Yongguk, another camp leader. He mouthed the word yours. Frowning, Hakyeon looked around and counted at each table, then his own. Yongguk was right, Hakyeon’s table was the only one missing a member.

How irresponsible of him. But Hakyeon didn’t waste time feeling bad, he intended to correct his mistake.

“That’s Taekwoon,” Hongbin said, having noticed where Hakyeon was looking.

“You know him?” Hakyeon asked.

“We sat together on the bus. I saw the stamp on his backpack. He doesn’t talk, but he can hear.”

“If he doesn’t talk then how do you know his name?” Jaehwan cut in.

“He typed it on his phone,” Hongbin explained.

“And that’s how you talked the entire ride? Through typing?” Asked Lisa, who’d overheard the conversation.

Hongbin shrugged. “Well, yeah. He didn’t seem to be in the mood for talking though and honestly I wasn’t either so I offered to share headphones and we listened to music the rest of the way.”

“So why doesn’t he talk?” Lisa asked.

Hongbin frowned. “I don’t know, he didn’t say.”

“Maybe he’s mute,” she speculated.

“He can’t be,” Hakyeon interrupted. “I would have been informed.”

As the camp leader, meaning an adult who takes care of the campers, Hakyeon had to know about any illness, disability or even allergy of the campers in order to know what to look out for. But Hakyeon had only been notified of a few allergies and a few campers who need to be reminded to take their meds.

Lisa was at that point full-on staring at the boy, though he didn’t seem to notice. “Maybe he lost his voice. But usually people give you a heads-up about that like, _hey I lost my voice so I won’t be able to speak for some time_.” She made a sad expression in the end, imitating the sad emoji.

“Maybe,” Hongbin said, returning his attention to his food.

“How aren’t you the least bit interested to know what’s going on? Isn’t that a bit weird, someone who just doesn’t talk even though they can?”

Hongbin sighed and looked up at her. “Yeah, it’s a bit weird but it’s also none of our business.”

“And who’s to say someone wouldn’t lie in their application form,” Jaehwan added, shrugging one shoulder.

Lisa kept looking Taekwoon’s way for a second longer before turning back to her friends.

Hakyeon stood and walked over to the table Taekwoon occupied.

“Hi!”

The boy slowly looked up and pushed his sketchbook into his lap. He waved.

“I’m Cha Hakyeon, your camp leader. And you’re Taekwoon, right? My missing camper.”

He just nodded.

“Can I sit down?”

Another nod.

“You know Bin,” Hakyeon pointed, “He’s my friend. He told me you don’t talk.”

Taekwoon bowed his head, beginning to fidget with the hem of his shirt.

“That’s okay,” Hakyeon reassured. “I’d just like to know how you’d like to communicate with us.”

Taekwoon took out his phone and opened the notes app. He typed ‘sign language?’

Hakyeon smiled brightly. “I know sign language!”

Taekwoon stared at him and slowly his lips stretched into a tiny smile.

Taekwoon dropped the fidgeting in order to say, _‘I didn’t expect you to know it.’_

Hakyeon felt quite accomplished. He was proud of himself for managing to crack this case – at least its beginning.

“I’ve learned years ago in one of these camps, actually. It was a fun course. So, Taekwoon, why don’t you come sit with us?”

Taekwoon chewed on his bottom lip, forehead wrinkling ever so slightly as he glanced at the table where the rest of the group was laughing, chatting and pretending not to be looking at and eavesdropping on the two of them.

“It’ll be okay, I promise. I’ll help you if you feel like talking to anyone and if not, that’s okay too. But I won’t let anyone sit alone.”

Taekwoon was still hesitant, but he nodded slowly. He closed his sketchbook under the table and Hakyeon took his tray to carry it over to the other table.

Not that the others weren’t looking already, but Hakyeon placing the tray down made them pay attention fully.

“Everyone, this is Taekwoon, our missing camper,” Hakyeon introduced. “Let him serve as an example for what happens to deserters,” he joked.

Everyone at the table laughed except for Taekwoon who just gave an anxious yet genuine smile.

“So what happens to deserters?” Yookwon questioned, resting his cheek in his palm.

Hakyeon realized that he’d painted himself into a corner because now everyone was expecting something, something that would likely make Taekwoon uncomfortable.

Curse his humour.

Hakyeon glanced at Taekwoon apologetically. “Hugs!” He told the others and embraced Taekwoon. He was tense, clutching his sketchbook but it was of some consolation that Taekwoon lightly smushed his face into Hakyeon’s shoulder, so he couldn’t have hated it that much.

“I wanna be a deserter in that case,” Jennie remarked, smiling brightly.

Kyung raised his hand as if he was in school. “Me too.”

More laughter.

Hakyeon let go quickly and slipped onto the bench next to Jaehwan. He let Taekwoon sit on the edge so that he could still symbolically be isolated while being a part of the group.

Taekwoon ate his food and didn’t look at or try to communicated with anyone. Hakyeon had also left him alone, not wanting to make him anxious by unwanted social interaction, but he also couldn’t help but notice how Taekwoon seemed to have been scooting closer to Hakyeon over time. Perhaps he was seeking comfort, but whatever it was, Hakyeon was there to provide.

Near the end of dinner time Lisa and Jisoo had stopped hiding their interest in Taekwoon. They were leaning over, asking him all the typical small talk questions like what his favourite book or movie is and such.

But then Lisa shot, “So, Taekwoon-oppa. Why don’t you talk?”

Hakyeon overheard this and he knew that Lisa meant no harm, that she was always direct and likely wasn’t used to facing people with whom she had to be careful. Hakyeon knew this, but Taekwoon may not have. On top of his normal paleness he went even paler and completely froze up and Hakyeon knew he had to save him.

“Last one eating does the dishes!” He announced, loudly.

Hearing this Taeil shoved the last piece of meat into his mouth and grinned at Chaeyoung whose bowl was not yet empty.

She put her chopsticks down and whispered, “Dammit.”

“Great. Let’s see about the rooms, yeah?”

This way all of them were well distracted and Taekwoon was left alone.

It took a while for everyone to get placed into rooms of four – Hakyeon first had to grant wishes of those who knew each other already and wanted to be together, then convince those who didn’t know each other to share a room. Through this entire process Taekwoon didn’t look up from his lap, but Hakyeon had an idea for him.

After he sent everyone else on their way, he straddled the bench next to Taekwoon.

“Hey.”

He looked up.

“Looks like you’ll be in a room with me, Bin and Jaehwan. That’s him,” he said, pointing to where Jaehwan was standing and trying to convince Hongbin to give him a piggy back ride.

“That okay?”

Taekwoon threw a glance at them then nodded. He seemed indifferent, but Hakyeon thought he saw a hint of relief in the way Taekwoon exhaled.

Hakyeon was about to get up to take the three to their room, but Taekwoon stopped him by tugging on his sleeve.

Hakyeon could honestly say, he was surprised. “Yeah...?”

_‘Thank you for earlier.’_

It took him a moment, but Hakyeon realized that Taekwoon was referring to Lisa’s question.

He smiled. “Don’t mention it. Hey, it’s my job to make sure everyone’s having fun.” He paused. “Taekwoon, it goes without saying because I’m the camp leader, but you really can come to me if you need anything.”

Taekwoon nodded and smiled faintly. He stood up, sketchbook in hand. _‘Let’s go.’_


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A week and a half in, campers were starting to get bored of their regular activities and chores. That was when the romance kicked in.
> 
> All around rumours were spreading about who liked whom, who was seen together, doing this and that.
> 
> _You know that flower crown Jisoo made yesterday? Someone saw her giving it to Chaeyoung today._
> 
> _Jonghyun called Minki the prettiest boy in the world, I know, I heard it._
> 
> _Minhyuk lost a bet and had to kiss Jiho, but did he really lose anything?_
> 
> _Did you see how Lisa was showing off last night at the dance party? She was definitely trying to impress Jennie._
> 
> _Wonshik kissed Jaehwan through the volleyball net. No, he didn’t slap him afterwards._
> 
> _Sanghyuk and Hongbin were really tired this morning. What? No! They snuck out and went stargazing. You pervert._

Hakyeon learned early on that Taekwoon preferred to entertain himself instead of participating in group activities, but that was to be expected.

On the second day he asked Hakyeon if he could stay in his room. It was evident that he wasn’t a typical antisocial teenager who’d rather spend his time on his phone all day – there wasn’t even wifi in the rooms. It was pretty clear to Hakyeon that Taekwoon was just nervous about the possible communication group activities would include.

But Hakyeon couldn’t let him sit in his room all day for three weeks, not when there were so many things outside for him to do. He sat down on Taekwoon’s bed and told him,

“Let’s compromise. If you were forced here you should try to make the best of it, which you won’t do in your room.”

Taekwoon pouted. _‘I have books.’_ He paused, frowning. _‘How do you know I was forced here?’_

“You just don’t seem like the type to go to a camp on your own wish.” Hakyeon moved on from that topic because Taekwoon didn’t seem to want it to continue. “So how about this; you come along wherever we’re going, but you can bring your books and whatever else. I won’t make you participate if you don’t want to, but I’d like you to stay nearby at all times, okay?”

Taekwoon looked to the side as he thought, but ultimately gave a nod of agreement.

 

This is how the days went. Hakyeon was personally having a lot of fun. He’d made friends with each of his campers, he did his duty diligently and he was proud to see that none of the campers saw him as a nagging figure of authority.

Taekwoon was, of course, a different story completely, but he seemed to be having fun as well, in his own way. By the fourth day he was participating in the activities which allowed him to act individually. That’s how they’d learned, for example, that he was a very good dancer.

Hakyeon was always there to push him the right way while not pushing too far.

Hakyeon had also learned that Taekwoon rarely ever displayed discomfort or disagreement, which was something Hakyeon urged him to do.

“If something bothers you, you should say it. The right people, your friends will understand and make an effort to change what they were doing to make you feel better. And that goes both ways. You can’t only change for others,” he’d said once.

Taekwoon had just nodded.

They talked a lot that evening and they’d gone to bed late. They’d sat on the pavilion outside the dining hall, looked at the stars and just, talked. At times Hakyeon would forget that he had to look at Taekwoon to see his response, and the younger would tug on his sleeve to get his attention. They chuckled when it happened.

The next day the morning was spent on the beach. Some played volleyball and soccer, others swam, some lay in the sun and some lay in the shade. Taekwoon had completely retreated under a rock, balancing his sketchbook on his knees. He didn’t seem to be even considering going swimming or anything like that. And while this followed his and Hakyeon’s agreement of him not being obliged to participate, Hakyeon also didn’t want him to be alone. He let it be sometimes, but not all the time.

So, he got out of the sea and jogged over to Taekwoon.

“Hey!”

The greeting startled him. He looked up and immediately pressed his sketchbook to his chest. It was an instinctive action, Hakyeon had never tried to look at it against Taekwoon’s will.

“It’s just me. Let’s go swimming.”

Taekwoon shook his head.

“Why not?”

_‘It’s such a bother later drying yourself off.’_

Hakyeon couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Come on, it’s so hot you’ll be dry in a matter of seconds! The water’s really nice. Please?” He knew that Taekwoon wasn’t the one for pressure and he knew when to give up convincing him to do something.

But Taekwoon didn’t refuse again. He sighed – him sighing or laughing was the most anyone got out of his voice, when his vocal chords made the tiny effort to complete the action – and he looked around as if there was someone who’d be listening to them. It seemed that Taekwoon himself had forgotten that no one can really eavesdrop on someone who doesn’t talk and Hakyeon was the only one who knew sing language.

_‘I don’t like taking my shirt off.’_ He threw a glance where the other guys were playing volleyball. His gaze lingered on Wonshik. _‘I don’t look like them.’_

“I don’t either,” Hakyeon said.

Taekwoon scrunched up his nose. _‘You’re a ballet dancer.’_

“Yes and I still don’t look like them. So?”

Taekwoon pressed his lips together and rested his chin on his knees, curling up more.

Hakyeon nodded. “Alright, I understand. But, I think I have a solution. Just swim with your shirt on and if anyone asks you anything, which I doubt they will, tell them you’re protecting yourself from the sun because you’re pale.”

Taekwoon’s lips parted in a silent gasp. _‘I’m not that pale!’_

“You’re pretty pale,” Hakyeon said through laughter.

Taekwoon crossed his arms.

“Speaking of which, did you put sunscreen on?”

Taekwoon was still sulking, but he nodded defeatedly.

“Great! Well, then?” Hakyeon offered him his hand.

Taekwoon put his sketchbook away and took Hakyeon’s hand, pulling himself up.

As Hakyeon had predicted, no one really questioned Taekwoon’s decision to keep his shirt on in the sea. In fact, Taekwoon was surprised when he received cheers from the small group consisting of Sanghyuk, Hongbin, Jaehwan, Lisa and Chaeyoung that was currently swimming.

They seemed happy to see him.

Taekwoon wasn’t sure how to react. No one had ever been so happy to see him for any reason.

In that group he felt quite relaxed even though he wasn’t clinging to Hakyeon the entire time, which was odd. So far in order to feel safe Taekwoon absolutely needed Hakyeon’s close proximity, but now it wasn’t so.

As Taekwoon’s white shirt got wet, it also became somewhat transparent. It stuck to him, which was exactly what he’d been trying to avoid but he didn’t seem to notice.

“Is that a tattoo!?” Lisa exclaimed at some point.

Through his wet shirt on his shoulder a little further from his collarbone, a black star intertwined with another star could be seen through the fabric.

Taekwoon nodded.

Lisa had now gotten close to have a look at it. “Cool! I didn’t think you were the type for tattoos,” she admitted.

He just shrugged. Soon the others also approached to look at it and they marvelled. Taekwoon didn’t know what to do with all those compliments, with all the attention. He just smiled shyly.

Ultimately, Taekwoon was thankful for Hakyeon pushing him the way he did.

 

A week and a half in, campers were starting to get bored of their regular activities and chores. That was when the romance kicked in.

All around rumours were spreading about who liked whom, who was seen together, doing this and that.

_You know that flower crown Jisoo made yesterday? Someone saw her giving it to Chaeyoung today._

_Jonghyun called Minki the prettiest boy in the world, I know, I heard it._

_Minhyuk lost a bet and had to kiss Jiho, but did he really lose anything?_

_Did you see how Lisa was showing off last night at the dance party? She was definitely trying to impress Jennie._

_Wonshik kissed Jaehwan through the volleyball net. No, he didn’t slap him afterwards._

_Sanghyuk and Hongbin were really tired this morning. What? No! They snuck out and went stargazing. You pervert._

With all of these stories spreading through the camp, Hakyeon had more or less expected to be approached.

The question of, “What do you think about Taekwoon?” didn’t surprise him at all.

He played it off as a joke, giving no real answer. “I’m a leader, it would be inappropriate!”

But he couldn’t help but wonder if anyone had approached Taekwoon and asked the same question. And if so, what was his answer, if he answered at all?

Hakyeon was, however, doing his best to suppress any feelings he may or may not have had for Taekwoon. His favouritism for the younger was starting to get noticed and even though no one seemed to mind, he didn’t want anyone to get the wrong picture. He didn’t want it to look like Taekwoon was his charity case.

But no matter his efforts, Taekwoon and him grew apart. Taekwoon had started avoiding him, even getting more involved in various activities in order not to confront Hakyeon. Seeing him interacting with others and having fun, of course, made Hakyeon immensely happy, still he couldn’t quite ignore the growing void in his heart.

At the second week’s end, it was their group’s turn on doing-the-dishes-duty. Hakyeon was spared of it, as all leaders were, and he was quite happy to take advantage of the position. He made sure to annoy everyone while he sat back with his legs crossed and sipping on an iced coffee.

However as he was closing up after he’d chased the kids off to bed, Hakyeon found that the kitchen wasn’t empty as it should have been. Taekwoon was there, sitting on the counter and looking like a deer in the headlights when Hakyeon walked in.

“Woonie... Why aren’t you with the others?”

_‘Wonshik told me to stay behind, he said him and Jaehwan had something to show me.’_

“Wonshik and Jaehwan left with the others,” Hakyeon said.

They stared at each other as realization hit them both. Hakyeon immediately went for the door, but he was too late. There was a tiny _click_ from the outside.

“HEY!” He banged on the door. “Let us out!”

_“Not until Taekwoon-hyung tells you that thing he wanted to tell you_ ~” Jaehwan’s voice came from behind the door.

“You’re stupid you’re just revealing exactly who’s involved in this! You are so dead tomorrow!” Hakyeon yelled and once again slammed his fist on the closed door.

Silence. They seemed to have realized what they’d gotten themselves into. But there were no apologies nor was there a click of the door unlocking. Hakyeon groaned.

He turned around and smiled. “It’s gonna be okay, we just have to—“ He went quiet as he laid his eyes on Taekwoon. His eyes were wide and he was paler than usual. Hand gripping the edge of the counter, he seemed to be shaking.

“Taekwoonah...” Hakyeon muttered and walked over, though still made sure to keep his distance just in case. “You don’t have to tell me anything. We can just chill out here if you want, the door will be unlocked in the morning one way or another.”

It was a shock for Hakyeon to see that for once his gentle tone and soft words weren’t working. Taekwoon didn’t relax, he didn’t smile or nod, he only seemed to get worse as his breathing grew quicker and shallower.

“Woonie, breathe,” Hakyeon said quietly. “I promise it’ll be okay. They meant nothing bad, they were just joking, they didn’t know you’d be upset. I’ll kick their butts tomorrow for you, I promise.” He paused. “Taekwoon?”

He finally looked up and started blinking, his lashes sparkling with tears. _‘It’s my fault.’_ His hands were shaking.

“It’s not. It’s just a stupid joke. They think they’re helping but they’re not. Taekwoon, breathe.”

At last Taekwoon made an attempt to take Hakyeon’s advice, but he stayed still, pale and shaking. He leaned against the counter and started chewing on his lip. He was thinking, perhaps contemplating whether to really say whatever it was Jaehwan and Wonshik wanted him to say.

Now, the guess for it was obvious but Hakyeon still didn’t dare assume. He perhaps even hoped for it to be a confession, but he kept pushing the thought away with all might. How self indulgent of him to think that Taekwoon would... He couldn’t even say it, not even think it.

He waited. He let Taekwoon take his time with the decision.

“We can sit down,” he offered because his patience was betraying him. In another situation it wouldn’t, but this one was testing his nerves. He couldn’t handle the silence.

Taekwoon shook his head and took out his phone. He was sniffling as he typed hastily. When he was done he slid the phone across the counter, backed up into a corner and turned away from Hakyeon.

Hakyeon didn’t read out loud.

‘It’s really stupid, I know, and I never wanted to make such a fuss about it. No I actually wanted to keep it a secret, I knew bringing it out in the open would only cause problems. I shouldn’t have told them anything... Even when I don’t speak I manage to mess up. I’m sorry hyung I should have kept it to myself. I have feelings for you and I am so confused because I know this is all temporary. But they are very strong at least for now and I’m just confused. I’m sorry I got us into this.’

By the time Hakyeon was done reading soft sobs could be heard from the corner where Taekwoon was hiding. He felt like this was one piece of Taekwoon’s puzzle, one which solving would give the answer to the question that’s been on everyone’s mind ever since they met him – why doesn’t Taekwoon talk. Hakyeon saw it in everything said, how much he stressed the idea of his words bringing nothing but trouble. He was afraid.

But Hakyeon also realized that it wasn’t what this all was about, so he left that discussion for another day.

He didn’t have the time to rejoice or celebrate because comforting Taekwoon was his priority. He wanted more than anything to embrace him and not let go until it’s time to go home, but that wasn’t what Taekwoon needed right now.

Hakyeon was ready to hold a speech, he was ready to spill words of reassurance and return Taekwoon’s affection, but then he remembered the eavesdroppers outside who were responsible for the entire situation. So he figured he’d do it another way.

He went over to Taekwoon and tugged on his sleeve. The younger just shook his head and shrunk even more.

“Look at me,” Hakyeon whispered. He started when Taekwoon finally turned around,

_‘You’re right, too much trouble has been made over such a simple thing. I know this is important for you, but you should find comfort in the fact that all of this is so silly.’_ Hakyeon smiled at this. _‘Another thing that should bring comfort is the fact that I like you too.’_

Taekwoon’s chin trembled, but his expression slowly turned into that of shock. _‘You do not.’_

_‘I do. Why would I say that if it wasn’t true?’_

Taekwoon’s expression changed again, this time his eyes became cold and his gaze dropped. _‘Out of pity.’_

Hakyeon frowned. Taekwoon wasn’t looking at him any longer and in order for the conversation to continue he had to. So Hakyeon reached out and lifted his chin. _‘Would I do something like that?’_

Taekwoon stared at him with a light red colour spreading across his cheeks. He shook his head.

_‘Have I ever been dishonest with you?’_

Taekwoon shook his head again.

_‘I don’t think I’ve given you any reasons not to believe me when I say that your feelings aren’t one-sided.’_ And Hakyeon was smiling again, genuinely, but also hoping that it would help reassure Taekwoon.

He just stood there, biting his lip and blinking back tears.

Hakyeon opened his arms to ask permission for a hug. Taekwoon just let himself fall forward and clung onto Hakyeon like his life depended on it. Hakyeon took a risk and ran his fingers through Taekwoon’s hair once and when the younger showed no signs of protest, he kept going. Taekwoon wasn’t crying, but he was shaking pretty badly. Hakyeon held him for as long as it took him to calm down. He let Taekwoon be the one to pull away and end the hug.

“You’ll be okay?” Hakyeon asked, keeping his hands on Taekwoon’s shoulders.

The younger nodded. His arms were still loosely wrapped around Hakyeon’s waist.

“Should we make them let us out?”

Taekwoon cracked a smile and nodded again.

Hand in hand they went to the door.

“Hey dumbasses! It’s done! You can let us out now!”

Silence from the other end. Hakyeon sighed.

“Guys, you keep forgetting... We both know sign language, you wouldn’t have heard anything anyway!!”

_“Then how do we know it’s done?”_

Hakyeon raised his eyebrows and kicked the door so hard the wall shook.

_“Fine, geez!”_

When the door opened, it was revealed that Wonshik and Jaehwan weren’t the only ones in on the plot. Lisa and Jennie were also present, as well as Taeil and Sanghyuk. They saw Taekwoon and Hakyeon holding hands and started smiling – it was explanation enough.

Hakyeon spared them all a glance and said, “You have ten seconds to run.”


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't until a few days later that Taekwoon pulled Hakyeon to the side after lunch. He seemed nervous yet excited; he was bouncing and fiddling with the hem of his shirt.
> 
> Hakyeon couldn’t help but pick up on the mood. He had no idea what was going on, but he was excited as well. “What’s up?” He asked.
> 
> Taekwoon left his shirt alone. _‘Go out with me?’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fluff is also dedicated to Ace (astrosminsung) I'm sorry for all of this even before the 10th but it was already done so,,,

Hakyeon had let the group of prankers sleep through the night, wondering what would be done to them. In the morning he announced that they’d be taking over all and any chores, from other groups as well. Hakyeon wasn’t the one for public humiliation type of punishment, so he only gave them a small lesson in private and smiled as he left them to work.

The good news was that Taekwoon was no longer avoiding him. Things were back to normal, to say the least. Even though the news must have spread by now, Hakyeon didn’t want to rub it in everyone’s faces. He may have been joking about it being inappropriate, but he did have to stay responsible. That, as well as Taekwoon’s comfort being his priority was the reason Hakyeon and him stayed as they had been.

And, well, Hakyeon’s fear of others or Taekwoon seeing it all as a charity case was still there.

Despite their efforts, of course, things were still different. Not bad different, simply different. Because people were now aware of the situations and were doing their best to leave Taekwoon and Hakyeon alone on various occasions. They didn’t ask Hakyeon for help as much, they wanted to give him the space and leave room for him to spend time with Taekwoon. When the two were left alone, things weren’t awkward. They spent time like they always would; talking or reading together or listening to music. Hakyeon was always alert in case anyone needed him, but the kids seemed to be good at taking care of themselves. There was never any trouble.

At night, however, things were a bit different. Taekwoon and Hakyeon’s two beds in their room were placed in the corner at ninety degrees, in a Г shape. This made it rather easy for Taekwoon's hand to find Hakyeon's. At those times they didn't talk – with Taekwoon's hand in Hakyeon's, neither of them could sign and they realized that in the dark they could hardly make out what the other was signing. Hakyeon also didn't want to awake Jaehwan and Hongbin with his voice or the brightness of their screens, were they to type.

But words weren't necessary. It was the way Taekwoon poked Hakyeon’s cheek to let him know what he wanted.  How Taekwoon smiled when they held hands and pressed kisses to Hakyeon’s knuckles and wrists in gratitude. They often flipped and lay on their stomachs to be able to look at each other and did nothing but smile like love-struck fools.

They fell asleep with their hands intertwined and woke up the same way.

It wasn't until a few days later that Taekwoon pulled Hakyeon to the side after lunch. He seemed nervous yet excited; he was bouncing and fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

Hakyeon couldn’t help but pick up on the mood. He had no idea what was going on, but he was excited as well. “What’s up?” He asked.

Taekwoon left his shirt alone. _‘Go out with me?’_

Hakyeon’s lips parted and he let out a small gasp. Immediately he stepped forward and pulled Taekwoon into a hug. Hakyeon was quick to pull away, seeing as he hadn’t asked permission first. He simply couldn’t help it this time.

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I’m just...” He trailed off. He was smiling like an idiot.

Taekwoon was shaking his head, smiling just as brightly. _‘It’s fine, I don’t mind.’_

“Well, in that case...” Hakyeon hugged him again, climbing on his tiptoes to do so properly.

Taekwoon was laughing, and although that as well was quiet, Hakyeon got to hear his voice. It was melodic and gentle, even if a bit strained. His laughter sounded like he was watching something funny at 5 am with people sleeping in the room and didn’t want to wake them up. But Hakyeon was grateful to hear it.

_‘I take that as a yes.’_

“Of course!” Hakyeon exclaimed. “Just... How will we pull that off?”

Taekwoon straightened up. _‘Leave that to me.’_

 

The fact that Taekwoon didn’t tell Hakyeon what he was planning made him boil with anticipation. But that day passed, the sun set and they went to bed as usual. Leo slipped his hand into Hakyeon’s and they went to sleep. That night they didn’t scoot closer to each other, or look at each other or any of the things they had been doing. They just called it a night, even though Hakyeon found it odd.

When Hakyeon regained consciousness and his eyes fluttered open, it was still dark. As he looked around in the darkness and reached for Taekwoon’s bed only to find it empty, he realized that what had woken him up was Taekwoon’s hand leaving his own.

He sat up and squinted. “Taekwoonah?”

The younger appeared in front of him with his phone in his hands. He threw something in Hakyeon’s lap. He picked it up and felt the synthetic fabric – it was his own swimsuit.

Hakyeon looked up at Taekwoon quizzically. “We’re going somewhere?” He whispered.

Taekwoon showed him his phone. On the screen in the notes app was a message that simply read ‘Date. Trust me.’

Hakyeon grinned and got out of his bed. He didn’t hesitate for a second.

When they were both dressed up, they sneaked out of the dorm together. As soon as they were out the door Taekwoon grabbed Hakyeon’s hand and they started running down the road towards the beach. They were both laughing, it felt like they were running away from someone, something, even though no one was after them. The important thing was to never let go of each other’s hand.

They reached the beach and slowed down. They collapsed on the sand under the big umbrella that was now closed. They took a moment to admire the stars scattered in the dark and the full moon, bright in the sky. It reflected in the water and led a silver, shimmering path to them.

Hakyeon didn’t admire the scenery veiled in darkness for too long. His eyes soon rested on Taekwoon, his dark hair and pale skin. He seemed to be glowing in the moonlight.

And Hakyeon’s heart suddenly tightened, not quite in a bad way. The sudden need to be close to Taekwoon, as close as possible, was what was pressing down on him.

“Taekwoonah,” he called quietly.

Taekwoon turned to look at Hakyeon.

“Thank you for this.”

Taekwoon had to pull his hand out of Hakyeon’s in order to respond. _‘I should be thanking you.’_

Hakyeon paused. “Maybe... But why shouldn’t I also?”

_‘I hardly did anything for you.’_

“Okay, that is not true. You did this and you have done things for me before. Every time you let me touch your hair or kiss your cheek. Every time you decided to play some game with the others or even got out of the room. What about the rice cakes you made? You showed us your dancing, you let me see that one sketch... You’ve done plenty.”

Taekwoon was looking down, heat was slowly rising to his cheeks.

“What, you think that doesn’t count?” Hakyeon taunted.

_‘I didn’t think it did,’_ Taekwoon admitted.

“Well it does. And I’m thankful,” Hakyeon said softly.

Taekwoon was smiling, but he quickly turned his head away.

Hakyeon scooted over. “Woonie, it’s okay.”

Taekwoon waved him off, shaking his head as if to say that he’s fine. But he couldn’t keep the tears from falling.

Hakyeon slowly wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. “It’s okay. Breathe. Hey, I really hope these are happy tears because otherwise it’s unacceptable,” he added in a joking tone.

Taekwoon let out a small laugh, but he clung onto Hakyeon for a little longer. He needed some time to calm down.

When he did, he threw a glance at Hakyeon and sighed. _‘I’m sad because once this is over, I’ll have to go back to people who aren’t as accepting as you.’_ He frowned. _‘I think you spoiled me too much. It’ll be hard to go back to being ignored or treated like a freak.’_

Hakyeon shook his head. “Woonie, there is always kindness in the world. Maybe you haven’t had luck with it so far, but hey, wasn’t it different here? People were kind to you here, weren’t they? And let me tell you that I am not unique in the world, there are so many people like me, who will treat you well.”

Taekwoon chewed on his bottom lip while he took the time to think about it. _‘I suppose... But I don’t want anyone else.’_ He paused suddenly and tucked his hands between his thighs. He sank into himself and bowed his head as if he’d said something wrong.

Hakyeon placed his hand on Taekwoon’s shoulder. “That’s flattering. And you know I love flattery.”

Taekwoon gave a weak smile. He shook his head and stood up. Perhaps he didn’t want to continue the conversation. Instead, he took Hakyeon by the hand and pulled him up.

“This was an amazing idea, by the way,” Hakyeon said, grinning.

Taekwoon was all smiles as well, now that they moved on from the heavier topic. Hakyeon discarded his shirt and didn’t wait for Taekwoon to do the same. But as he turned around to call for him, Hakyeon saw that he did.

He seemed a bit nervous as he approached, he clearly didn’t want to be looked at. That’s why Hakyeon decided to look away, but to him Taekwoon was absolutely stunning. Hakyeon stood closer to him and they locked hands; Hakyeon wanted him to know that everything was okay and that he’s thankful for Taekwoon’s trust.

The tension eased quickly once they were in the water. Hakyeon was making Taekwoon laugh with his act of being scared of everything, often leaping into Taekwoon’s arms in terror. Hakyeon would pretend to cry, overdramatically, and bury his face in the crook of Taekwoon’s neck for comfort. Taekwoon laughed, more freely than ever, and held him.

At some point they settled, however. Hakyeon was measuring their hands as if they hadn’t done so hundreds of times before. They had both fallen silent. Hakyeon then locked eyes with Taekwoon and pressed himself closer to the younger, resting his head on his shoulder. Hakyeon admired Taekwoon’s slim waist.

He didn’t have to say anything. It was his touch that was filled with adoration as he traced Taekwoon’s waist and arms, fingers brushing over his collarbones and down his chest. It was saying “you’re beautiful” with no words.

Taekwoon was blushing, hiding his face, but not protesting. He didn’t push Hakyeon away, no, he tightened his grip on his hips.

Hakyeon stopped once he thought he’d made his point, he didn’t want to go too far. But he was happy, he had finally gotten the closeness he’d been craving. Not that it was enough, he still wanted to pull Taekwoon even closer, hug him even tighter, but Hakyeon was patient.

And to his surprise it was Taekwoon who made the next move. Patience pays off.

Taekwoon may have been shaking and he may have been hesitant, but still he was the one to close the gap between them. He didn’t seem to really know what to do from there though, and Hakyeon happily took over the kiss. He had to do his best not to smile even though his heart was fluttering and he felt like he’d burst. He slipped his fingers into Taekwoon’s now wet hair and kissed him slowly, trying to help him relax and ease into it.

Taekwoon’s eyes fluttered shut and he went with it, let Hakyeon take care of him. Their tender touches, lips moving slowly in a gentle kiss, it was saying “I love you” with no words.


	4. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _‘I need to tell you the truth before we part ways. You’ve been nothing but kind to me and I want to be honest with you.’_

The limited time they had together was pressing down on all of them, but they were willing to make it work. Finding each other on social media, making group chats etc, they did it all.

Taekwoon and Hakyeon were no exception.

Hakyeon was starting to get teased for his lack of responsible behaviour, but he was honestly glad that those were the meanest comments him and Taekwoon received.

However, time had to run out eventually. In no time the end was upon them.

Hakyeon had to put in a lot of effort into lightening the mood during their last dinner together. It hardly worked.

Jonghyun and Minki were holding hands, foreheads pressed together. Minki was crying and Jonghyun was whispering words of reassurance.

Lisa was sobbing into Jennie’s shoulder.

Chaeyoung and Jisoo were holding each other with their cheeks pressed together, both teary eyed.

Jiho was sitting in Minhyuk’s lap, right in front of everyone’s salad, but he refused to move away.

Taeil was promising that he’d get a tattoo of Yookwon’s name on his left “tiddie,” his exact words.

Jaehwan, Sanghyuk, Wonshik and Hongbin were huddled up in a small, crying bunch. Jaehwan and Wonshik were exchanging last kisses, while Sanghyuk was trying to tie himself to Hongbin with an awfully long friendship bracelet.

And Taekwoon was silent as always. He accepted hugs, but didn’t communicate otherwise, not through typing, not through Hakyeon. He just sat in his spot at the edge of the bench and kept looking down.

Hakyeon thought he’d seen something, like a piece of paper, clutched in his hand but he didn’t question it. If Taekwoon wanted to show him, he would.

The leaders took it upon themselves to clear up that night, to let everyone get some rest for tomorrow; even though they all knew full well everyone would likely be saying goodbyes the entire night.

Hakyeon was distracted, scrubbing a plate much longer than needed. He snapped out of it when his sleeve was tugged on and he spotted Taekwoon next to him.

“Oh, Woonie... What are you doing here?”

_‘I have something to tell you.’_

Hakyeon looked back at the others. Yongguk gave a nod and said, “Go.”

It was all the approval he needed. He discarded the apron he was wearing and went outside with Taekwoon.

They sat on the step of the front porch.

“Is something wrong?” Hakyeon asked.

Taekwoon shook his head.

“You’re okay?”

Taekwoon nodded.

“Then it can’t be anything bad, right? No reason to be nervous.” He tried to sound reassuring, but the clear anxiety on Taekwoon’s face worried him.

_‘It can be bad,’_ Taekwoon started. _‘I need to tell you the truth before we part ways. You’ve been nothing but kind to me and I want to be honest with you.’_

Hakyeon shifted a bit. He was now getting nervous as well, though he knew he had to stay calm for Taekwoon’s sake. He would stay calm no matter what he heard.

“I doubt whatever you have to say will change my opinion of you unless it’s drastic. So relax, I’m always here for you,” he said softly, placing his hand on top of Taekwoon’s.

Taekwoon stayed frozen for a moment, before taking a deep breath. He reached into his pocket and handed Hakyeon a note.

He opened the paper, but needed to shift a bit to catch the light from a nearby lamp post.

The note read,

‘Hyung, I have to tell you the truth about why I don’t talk. You’re the only one I trust enough to let know because you’re the only one who has never asked or tried to fix me. You have no idea how much that means to me... But I also don’t want to keep lying to you anymore.

I’m not mute. I’ve stopped talking some years ago on my own accord. The reason is that everything I say brings trouble or makes me hate myself. It’s either stupid or harmful to others. It isn’t just my opinion either, I’ve been told throughout my childhood that I’m better off silent...

Simply speaking my mind has brought me so much trouble and pain in the past that I realized I truly should just shut up forever. I learned sign language for the most necessary communication and decided to just... stop talking.

It has worked so far, but hyung I feel disgusted of myself because essentially I am a huge fraud. People are nicer to me because they assume I’m mute. If they heard me speak, if they knew how stupid I was they’d hate me.

I feel like I’ve manipulated you into liking me and for that I’m sorry.’

Hakyeon looked over the note again, then lifted his gaze to Taekwoon. He looked like he would burst from anxiety and other than the trembling, he was sitting perfectly still.

“You know I’m really glad you wrote this down because otherwise I wouldn’t have remembered everything I had to tell you,” Hakyeon said in a light tone, hoping to help Taekwoon relax.

The younger looked his way; he seemed terrified.

Hakyeon turned completely towards him and crossed his legs.

“Alright, first of all, there’s clearly a blame issue here. You can’t put all of this on yourself. I know... You’re insecure and you’ll have me believe that you made this decision because of your own faultiness, but honestly? It’s an extreme reaction to being insecure. You said you’ve been told to shut up throughout your childhood and I think you’re lessening the impact that clearly had on you. You can’t blame yourself for this. Especially because... I know you haven’t _literally_ talked, but I loved our every conversation. I doubt you’d be any different if you were to speak. Now, I’m not really sure what you meant by your words hurting people. Unless you intentionally say something harmful, and I don’t think you would...”

Taekwoon shook his head. _‘It’s when I speak my mind that hurts people. No one wants to know that I’m sad. It’s better off pretending to be perfectly fine.’_

Hakyeon stopped him by taking Taekwoon’s hands in his own. “Woonie, there’s something you need to understand. People are all different and they react to bad news differently. Not everyone will have the capacity to hear about your feelings all the time, but family and friends should the very least accept them. And they definitely shouldn’t cut you off and make you feel like a burden simply for _having_ emotions. You can’t keep everything to yourself, it’s not good for you.”

Taekwoon was hesitant. He pulled his hands out of Hakyeon’s. _‘I can if it means that no one gets hurt.’_

Hakyeon shook his head. “Love, you aren’t listening to me. Your negative emotions are always the hardest on you, not everyone else.”

Even though still sceptical, Taekwoon caved and nodded in agreement. Perhaps it was the nickname that did it.

“Lastly, Taekwoonah, you didn’t trick me into liking you. Do I seem that gullible to you? If you were some manipulative asshole I would have noticed and I wouldn’t have stayed with you. You aren’t faking a condition because the people who do that do it to achieve some sort of goal. You don’t do that, do you? Choosing not to talk is anyone’s right. And I like you because you’re an amazing and intriguing person, not because I feel bad for you.”

Taekwoon was stiff for another moment before letting himself fall forward and rest his head on Hakyeon’s shoulder. Hakyeon didn’t hesitate for a second, wrapping his arms around Taekwoon to provide comfort.

“It’s okay, love. It’s alright. I am so happy you told me. You have no idea how much your trust means to me.”

Taekwoon laced his fingers into Hakyeon’s hair, sniffling a little. He pulled away, although reluctant to let go of Hakyeon. _‘I’m so relieved. How are you so kind, hyung? You say you’re not unique in the world, but I doubt that.’_

Hakyeon smiled and leaned in to press a kiss to Taekwoon’s cheek. “I’m not unique, but I do love you. Maybe that’s what makes me stand out.” He grinned.

 

That night Taekwoon spent in Hakyeon’s bed rather than his own. Many other campers did this, often in groups bigger than two, just crying together and saying their goodbyes, promising to write to each other and to come back next year.

Their room was packed, Wonshik and Sanghyuk had also joined, as well as a few others, which meant that many beds were shared. They all slept uncomfortably, even though cuddling was a great way to save space and was in fact quite comfortable in itself.


	5. V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Intermission

Hakyeon was delighted to see that everyone was truly making an effort to make it work. Those who lived nearby saw each other as frequently as possible and the group chats were active year long. A lot of them returned to the same camp in the years to follow; it wasn’t always the same squad, but they did get to see one another.

However, Taekwoon was kept from returning through a series of unfortunate circumstances. The others found it quite suspicious, but Hakyeon was always on his side. His reasoning was quite understandable in Hakyeon’s eyes.

Despite this, they stayed in touch. Go figure, Taekwoon was more of a text person rather than video chatting, but it still worked. It worked for a few years, until Taekwoon disappeared.

He stopped replying to everyone’s messages, even deleted some of his social media accounts. The others were upset or worried, but Hakyeon could take a hint. He figured that Taekwoon only needed some space.

That being said, Hakyeon himself couldn’t help but worry and he had to admit to being a bit hurt by the situation even though he knew it wasn’t Taekwoon’s fault. Furthermore, he had been quite excited about moving to Seoul for work, especially because it meant that he’d be closer to his Woonie, but now it was just a painful reminder of Taekwoon’s disappearance from Hakyeon’s life. He was self indulgent enough to send one last message, saying ‘Moving day today’ with a single heart. He didn’t even get a _seen_.

And what of their feelings? Well, they both knew that distance would be quite the problem and they somewhat expected it to help them get over each other. They met new people over the years, Hakyeon even had a few partners, but nothing too serious. They didn’t talk too much about their relationship statuses anyway.

But perhaps it was social media that made it difficult for their feelings to fade, since it allowed the other’s presence always to be felt via frequent posts. Of course, that too was gone once Taekwoon went away.

Hakyeon then knew that it was truly the time to move on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not the end.


	6. VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they chatted and sipped their lemonades, Hakyeon caught a glimpse of a familiar face.
> 
> Hakyeon barely recognized him. His hair wasn't dark like it had been years ago at the camp. It was now bleached blonde and longer, it made him look even more transparent.
> 
> Hakyeon's heart dropped and nearly came to a stop; right after that it sped up impossibly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: implied self harm (in the past)

A year or so since he moved to Seoul and it was Hakyeon’s biggest gig yet.

Excitement far outweighed the anxiety. Hakyeon was even lucky enough to, despite the nervousness, get a good night’s rest.

He usually was the mood maker of the group, but now more so than ever. The others were a mess, most of them tired and edgy, but Hakyeon was there to help. He skipped around the dressing room, helping with everyone’s outfits, hair and makeup all while humming or singing, doing anything to put everyone in a good mood.

And before long it was show time. Hakyeon only wanted to check his messages before he went onstage, but his phone just had to betray him in the last moment. He sighed as he watched it bug out. He locked and unlocked it, hoping for it to calm down and when the screen lit up again, Hakyeon saw that a conversation was open.

A conversation he hadn’t opened in over a year.

Before closing it again Hakyeon noticed that his last message, one which was letting Taekwoon know that he’d be moving that day, was suddenly on ‘seen’. He had no idea when the checkmark had turned blue, but he tried not to think about it.

He was worried that he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it, but he was fortunate. The entire thing was forgotten the moment he stepped onto the stage and completely shoved to the back of his mind when he started dancing.

The event went on and so did Hakyeon. He was exhilarated, he wanted to go up on the stage again and again, no matter the fact that he was absolutely exhausted.

But he had friends to catch up with; Wonshik and Jaehwan, now dating had come to see him, as well as Sanghyuk and Hongbin. As they chatted and sipped their lemonades, Hakyeon caught a glimpse of a familiar face.

Hakyeon barely recognized him. His hair wasn't dark like it had been years ago at the camp. It was now bleached blonde and longer, it made him look even more transparent.

Hakyeon's heart dropped and nearly came to a stop; right after that it sped up impossibly. Suddenly he could hear the rush of his own blood, tuning out whatever Sanghyuk was saying at the moment.

“Guys, guys.... I’m really sorry, just... I’ll be right back,” Hakyeon told them and thudded his glass into Hongbin’s hands. Without waiting for a response, he started pushing through the crowd.

Taekwoon didn’t see him at first. It took until Hakyeon was a meter away for him to even look up.

And when he did, Taekwoon choked on his drink and started coughing, nearly dropping the glass and stumbling backwards. There was really no time to run.

Hakyeon moved with impressive speed and in a matter of seconds had his arms around Taekwoon, pulling him into an unexpected hug.

That time Taekwoon did drop the plastic glass. But he didn’t hug back. He stayed frozen, shoulders tense.

Hakyeon pulled away, but didn’t let go of Taekwoon. He wouldn’t have been so pushy otherwise, he was always patient especially with him.

But now? Hakyeon had two years worth of frustration, sadness and hurt built up. He was trembling and before he knew, tears blurred his vision and streamed down his cheeks in tiny rivulets.

_“Where have you been?”_ He asked and his voice cracked quite noticeably so.

Taekwoon was in shock. He definitely hadn’t expected Hakyeon’s reaction to seeing him again to be so drastic. He wasn’t sure he’d even seen Hakyeon upset before then, let alone him _crying_.

Taekwoon wanted to respond but Hakyeon stopped him by taking his wrists.

“No, you know what, no. I’ll listen to your excuses later because you need to know—Taekwoon, _you hurt me!_ For years I had to chase after you just to get a simple text and then you-you just disappear! Just like that! I’ve tried, all these years I’ve been protecting you because honestly... I would have suffered so much more were I to give into my anger, but damn it all I was upset and worried and I was only pushing that away for your sake. I... Fucking hell. Whatever it is that made you act so stupid, I hope it’s better now. I hope you’re doing well.”

It was odd. At this point right here it was evident how big of a rift was between them, just how much things had changed.

Hakyeon was sobbing and clinging onto Taekwoon for any kind of support, while Taekwoon was still with a blank expression, staring ahead of himself. Some years ago in a situation like this he would definitely have shed a tear, but now... He just seemed numb.

He yanked his hands away. _‘I’m sorry.’_ He then shoved them in his pockets as if he had nothing else to say. No explanation, nothing.

“That’s it? That’s it!? A year, Taekwoon! And all you have to say is that you’re sorry? Great. Yeah, that’s perfect.” Hakyeon took a step back and angrily wiped his tears.

For a second they just stood in front of each other; despite everything, neither of them wanted to leave.

“So what are you even doing here?” Hakyeon muttered.

_‘I wanted to see you.’_

Hakyeon knew that statement was supposed to mend things, but it made him more furious. Taekwoon had come there _to see him_ , and what had he done exactly? He ruined Hakyeon’s entire day.

“Yeah, well, you saw me. Have fun.” As Hakyeon turned to leave, Taekwoon stepped forward and took him by the wrist to stop him.

Hakyeon tried to pull away, but Taekwoon wasn’t letting him go. And so he was in a difficult position because if Taekwoon wanted to explain himself he needed to let go of Hakyeon and there was no saying he’d stay. On top of that Hakyeon was refusing to look up at him.

Taekwoon realized he had to compromise. He wrapped his arms around Hakyeon’s waist and pulled him close. He knew that it was something Hakyeon wouldn’t be able to resist; even though he tried to fight it, wanted to push Taekwoon away and leave, he couldn’t.

Hakyeon crumbled and clung onto the other, sobbing quietly into his shoulder.

Taekwoon was sniffling a little himself, but he wasn’t crying. He was doing his best to comfort Hakyeon, gently stroking his hair.

When Hakyeon pulled away, he still needed a moment to calm down, to wipe his eyes and stop sniffling. Then he looked up with a frown and crossed arms.

“Jung Taekwoon, you have two minutes to explain yourself.”

Not that he was going to measure, but it sure sounded authoritative.

And it worked. Taekwoon gave a sharp nod and began, hastily, _‘First of all, I’m sorry. I know you won’t forgive me, not right away at least, but I am truly sorry. I went through a horrible time in my life, a crappy relationship, trouble at home. I pushed a lot of people away while trying to protect myself, I did a lot of things I regret—‘_

Hakyeon assumed he was referring to the whole pushing people away thing but it also crossed his mind that Taekwoon was wearing a long sleeved shirt at 40 degrees Celsius. And suddenly Hakyeon was wondering just how much he didn’t know about. He knew better than to ask.

_‘—and I know that doesn’t excuse my behaviour but I was an absolute mess and I thought I’d never get better. Now that I look back I regret it, I hate myself for doing that to you and to everyone else and I’m just so sorry. But when I saw your name on that poster I knew I had to go. I had to see you if only to beg your forgiveness.’_

Damn it all. Hakyeon swore he wasn’t a crier, but this, this was too much. He aggressively blinked the tears away.

“Taekwoonah... I forgave you the moment I saw you here today,” he whispered.

Taekwoon’s lips parted as he let out a little noise of relief and he covered his mouth with his hand, looking at the ground for a second.

When he looked back up there was something in his eyes that suggested he wasn’t done, however he didn’t add anything to his previous statement.

That day was full of surprises, it seemed.

Because in the little silence that occurred, as Hakyeon was trying to figure out what to say next, Taekwoon stepped forward and closed the remaining gap between them. He took Hakyeon by the waist and pulled him into a near desperate kiss.

Hakyeon didn’t hesitate a second, wrapping his arms around Taekwoon’s neck and kissing back just as desperately.

He hadn’t even realized how much he’d missed it. The mere taste of Taekwoon’s lips brought back all the memories, the night of their first kiss and all those that followed, when they got pranked and Taekwoon confessed, their departure. Hakyeon’s heart grew heavy, he missed Taekwoon and everything about him, just being in his presence.

Even as he pulled away he kept his arms around Taekwoon, holding him close. “Jaehwan, Wonshik, Hyuk and Bin are here,” he mumbled, unsure what else to say.

Taekwoon had to let go in order to free his hands, but Hakyeon kept his hands on the younger’s waist.

_‘I don’t think I can do that right now. I hope you understand.’_

Hakyeon nodded. “I do... But they’ll want to see you. Some other day, maybe?” He asked hopefully.

Taekwoon smiled faintly – the first smile Hakyeon had seen from him that day – and nodded. _‘Of course. I missed them.’_

Hakyeon tightened his grip on Taekwoon’s shirt where his hands currently were. “But... I’d also like to see you... Just the two of us.” He looked up, searching for approval. “I would never push you, but... You kissed me. That had to mean something.”

_‘Of course it meant something._ ’ Again Taekwoon appeared to be holding something back, but Hakyeon didn’t ask.

He nodded, relaxing just a tiny bit. “Good... Good. Then... I’ll call you.” He paused. “Taekwoonah, I don’t think you can blame me for this, but I kind of don’t want to let go. I’m afraid you’ll disappear again.”

Taekwoon shook his head and leaned in to press a light and brief kiss to Hakyeon’s lips. _‘I promise.’_

“I’ll hold you to it,” Hakyeon said. He took Taekwoon’s hand and kissed the back of his palm. “I have to go.”

Taekwoon nodded and hugged Hakyeon once more.

* * *

Their second reunion wasn't nearly as heavy.

A week later when they’d agreed to go out, Hakyeon spotted Taekwoon by the Starbucks they chose as the meeting spot and he ran.

Taekwoon smiled brightly and quickly slipped his phone in his pocket in order to catch Hakyeon. Taekwoon spun him around and placed him back down, then pecked his lips.

It was odd, truly, for Taekwoon not to be as timid as he had been those years ago. Hakyeon couldn’t have even thought that Taekwoon would ever be comfortable enough to initiate a kiss, let alone in a public place.

“Where are we going?” Hakyeon hummed.

_‘Wherever you want.’_

 

They went to the aquarium. Taekwoon had watched Hakyeon skip from tank to tank, beaming at the various sea creatures, his bright smile illuminated by the blue light of the water around them.

Of course, they didn’t miss the opportunity to be the cliché couple and kiss in front of the jellyfish tank, in the near darkness with the colourful majestic creatures floating behind them.

When they’d parted they’d burst out laughing and of course they’d taken selfies all over the aquarium.

And then when they were going through the gift shop, Taekwoon had gasped and ran over to the basket full of plush seals.

“They don’t even have seals,” Hakyeon had said through laughter. He couldn’t help it; Taekwoon gasping, yanking his hand from Hakyeon’s and running to the basket was too precious. Hakyeon felt his heart melt then and there.

And when he saw how happy it made Taekwoon, him holding the plush toy to his chest with the biggest smile on his face, Hakyeon _had_ to buy it for him.

This resulted in an extremely cheerful Taekwoon with a plush toy in his arms and that beautiful smile remaining on his lips and Hakyeon couldn’t be happier.

After the aquarium they found somewhere to eat – this resulted in a lot of aesthetic posts on instagram – then took a walk.

Before long it was time for them to part ways and needless to say none of them were very happy about it.

“Why don’t you come over?” Hakyeon asked suddenly.

Taekwoon was surprised by the offer. ‘ _I don’t want to be a burden.’_

“Nonsense! I invited you, didn’t I?” Hakyeon said, smiling faintly. He was looking at Taekwoon hopefully. He knew better than to push it, but he truly hoped that Taekwoon would say yes.

_‘Are you sure it’s okay?’_

“Taekwoonah, I live alone there’s no one to bother aside from me and you know that you never ever bother me,” Hakyeon said softy.

Taekwoon pursed his lip then nodded.

Hakyeon tackle-hugged him in delight.

They grabbed snacks on the way home for a movie marathon they planned on the go. Hakyeon only wanted to use it as an excuse to cuddle with Taekwoon although at that point he was sure that he could just ask. It was still good to have a reason for it.

And lying on top of Taekwoon with his arms wrapped around the younger’s torso, Hakyeon was content. He forgot – or did his best to forget – the day he saw Taekwoon again. Hakyeon was kind of divided on it at that point. He was happy that it happened; he was happy that they got to talk and clear things up, but it still made his heart heavy and his chest tighten.

There were so many things he wanted to know but knew that Taekwoon would tell him if he wanted to.

The only thing Hakyeon could think of to make things any better was to shower Taekwoon with affection.

The movie was long forgotten on Hakyeon’s side as he hesitantly started pressing kisses down Taekwoon’s neck.

Taekwoon flinched a little at first but then he slid his fingers into Hakyeon’s hair and tilted his head to the side which Hakyeon took as an invitation.

The kisses were sending shivers through Taekwoon’s body, shivers that Hakyeon could feel because of the way he was pressed against him. They got more intense when his waist was touched.

Hakyeon smiled to himself, tracing Taekwoon’s side gently and subtly because he knew of Taekwoon’s insecurities. It made Hakyeon a little sad that the progress they’d made a few years ago was more or less gone now.

Hakyeon had an easy guess as to why, but he didn’t want to think about it.

He could feel Taekwoon tensing up under himself so he propped himself up and pecked Taekwoon’s nose.

“Are you hungry?”

Taekwoon shook his head, smiling faintly.

“Are you tired?”

Taekwoon shrugged with a tilt of his head in a gesture of indifference.

“There’s more room for cuddling on the bed,” Hakyeon suggested and Taekwoon let out a quiet giggle.

Taekwoon was the type of sweetheart who helped clean up in other’s homes as well which absolutely melted Hakyeon’s heart.

“Oh, will you need something to sleep in?” Hakyeon asked as they were putting away the dishes.

Taekwoon pressed his lips together and nodded.

Hakyeon stretched and yawned as he thought about a solution. “Mmm.... My clothes might not fit, but I’m pretty sure I’ve got something of Wonshik’s.”

Taekwoon frowned a little but shrugged.

Hakyeon’s gaze lingered on him; he was starting to get worried. “Taekwoonah... If something’s wrong you can tell me.”

Taekwoon’s first reaction was, of course, to shake his head in hopes of reassuring Hakyeon, but on a second thought...

_‘He mostly wears sleeveless shirts.’_

Hakyeon leaned against the counter, crossing his arms. He chewed his lip in thoughts. “Now that I think about it he does mostly leave t-shirts behind. He says I look good in boyfriend shirts, that’s why.” He smiled, hoping to cheer Taekwoon up. “I mean... I do have some stretchy shirts? You can always try that. And also, Woonie it’s okay. Really, it is.”

Taekwoon sighed and walked over, resting his forehead on Hakyeon’s shoulder. Hakyeon hugged Taekwoon around the waist and wiggled himself under the younger’s arms. Taekwoon moved his head from Hakyeon’s shoulder to instead rest his chin on top of the older’s head.

The anxious Taekwoonie Hakyeon remembered from the camp was back once he’d changed into one of Wonshik’s t-shirts.

It was black and, in Wonshik’s manner, rather large, with its supposedly short sleeves reaching Taekwoon’s elbows.

Hakyeon didn’t look for too long. He made grabby hands for the younger, asking for cuddles. Hakyeon clung onto him like a koala. He was doing his best to help Taekwoon relax.

Taekwoon seemed to find comfort in Hakyeon’s embrace which was quite the relief to the elder.

But he could still feel it, the trembling of his hand as he played with Hakyeon's hair.

Hakyeon shuffled a little to look up at Taekwoon, brushing the bright strands of hair out of his eyes. He could still hardly get used to a blonde Taekwoon, yet he had to admit it suited him.

“You know we can talk about this if you want, but if you don’t that’s okay too. We can just sleep, you seem tired...”

Taekwoon sniffled a little and wiggled away from Hakyeon to be able to properly sign, _‘I don’t really need to talk about it as long as I know you won’t love me any less.’_

Hakyeon felt his chest well up with pride of some sort – he was proud of Taekwoon for believing in Hakyeon’s ability to love him unconditionally and for _finally_ realizing it.

“Of course I won’t. You can always count on that,” Hakyeon said, unable to stop smiling. They pressed their foreheads together in a gentle embrace.

And yes, for the moment Taekwoon was smiling and he was radiating confidence Hakyeon hadn’t seen from him before.

But all of it was gone in a matter of seconds, swept away like a leaf by a gentle breeze. Soon soft sobs started escaping Taekwoon’s throat, ones he was clearly trying to hide but they only grew louder and more painful. They ripped through his chest and made his body jolt and ache. He brought his hand up to cover his face but realized that that way he was leaving his two year’s work on display and immediately shoved his hands between his thighs instead. He was trying to curl up, to crumble or disappear as he usually did.

Hakyeon didn’t let it unfold. He let Taekwoon rest against him, held him, kissed him, doing all he knew to comfort him.

It seemed to go on forever because for once Taekwoon wasn’t holding back. He’d always done it – as soon as he started crying he would force it down, not wanting to bother anyone with his tears for too long.

‘It makes people uncomfortable,’ he’d explained.

It wasn’t the case now. He couldn’t stop himself if he tried.

But perhaps it didn’t go on for as long as it could have because of Hakyeon. Because of his touch, because of his kisses, his quietly spoken reassurances.

Because of him Taekwoon managed to get the painful sobbing under control until he was yet again silent, with tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Love I don’t think you’re as alright as you’ll have me believe,” Hakyeon muttered and Taekwoon felt the burning of a sob in his throat again.

He straightened up and wiped his eyes. _‘I’m better, so much better than when it all started. I know I created problems by isolating myself but it also solved some other problems. The people I wanted out of my life are now gone and the people I wanted to stay stayed by my side.’_

Taekwoon paused and buried his face in his hands taking a moment to collect himself. _‘I missed you so much. I thought you’d never want to talk to me again. I almost didn’t even try to fix things, I was terrified. The past few years have made me forget everything you’ve taught me about kindness. People didn’t treat me like you did, hyung. They acted nice at the beginning and when they couldn’t make use of me or when they didn’t understand me, they got angry and threw me away at best. Some did worse. It was difficult to find any support at all and I realized that I needed you. I needed you to remind me of kindness and maybe I can one day stop believing everything I’ve been told by horrible people, the things that made me despise myself.’_

Hakyeon blinked. He was hardly able to take all of it in, but one thing was for sure; Taekwoon’s words hurt him deeply simply because he had to live through all of it at all, but especially because he’d gone through it alone.

“Taekwoonah... I wish I’d been with you—“

Taekwoon shook his head, _‘It’s fine. It’s my fault for pushing you away. I could have reached out so many times but I felt unworthy of help, of your presence even.’_

Hakyeon raised his eyebrows. “I sure do hope you don’t think that anymore.”

Taekwoon smiled faintly. _‘I don’t.’_ He sighed. _‘But I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I didn’t come here for you to fix me, you know I never wanted that. I came here to be with you because I missed you and I... I wanted to spend time with you. So let’s move on.’_

Hakyeon nodded in understanding and leaned in to peck Taekwoon’s nose. No matter the atmosphere and everything that was just said, this didn’t fail to make Taekwoon smile.

“I would never try to fix you, but I am always here for you. I don’t feel used or lied to or anything else that pretty little head of yours may be telling you—”

Taekwoon giggled at this, although his gaze was apologetic.

“—If I did, I would have told you. You know I’m not the type to suffer in silence.”

Taekwoon gave a small nod. _‘I might actually be able to sleep thanks to you. You never fail to reassure me.’_

Hakyeon smiled. “I have enough strength of my own right now, so I can share it when you feel like you have none even though I know you do.”

Taekwoon smiled and let himself fall forward, curling up into Hakyeon.

 

They did sleep rather well.

Hakyeon woke up well rested to the sight of Taekwoon, still asleep, drawing soft breaths with his lips parted slightly. It was a precious sight that melted Hakyeon’s heart momentarily and he decided to seal it with a kiss to the cheek.

They weren’t clinging onto each other like they had been when they’d fallen asleep, but Hakyeon figured that was alright; it made it possible for him to get out of bed without the fear of his movements waking Taekwoon up.

Although the boy truly seemed exhausted and he didn’t stir no matter what.

So Hakyeon went to make breakfast while giving Taekwoon more time to sleep.

Hakyeon was nearly finished when Taekwoon padded in with eyes still half closed, cheeks puffy from sleep. Hakyeon got the urge to squish and hug him all over again, but he stuck to the stove in order not to burn anything.

“Good morning, love,” he hummed, glancing behind himself to see Taekwoon taking a seat on one of the stools by the small bar. He’d changed back into his own clothes, sleeves pulled over his hands, which Hakyeon made no comment about.

Taekwoon waved as a greeting. Hakyeon smiled and turned back around to finish up the cooking.

But then something made him nearly drop the pan he was taking off the stove.

It was a small, barely audible, whispered out, “I love you.”

Hakyeon made sure to put the pan down before he dared turn around. For a long moment he just stared at Taekwoon.

“Did you just—“

The younger nodded. He hesitated, then spoke up again, “I trust you.”

And suddenly Hakyeon was fighting off tears even though there was no point. He was shaking with the realization that he was that someone Taekwoon trusted enough to speak to. Hakyeon had never thought about it because he thought that things were fine the way they were.

But now, when he finally got his “I love you” back and when he realized, when he was _told_ how much he meant to Taekwoon, did anything else really matter?

Hakyeon took the few steps that were between them and slammed into Taekwoon nearly enough to knock him over. Hakyeon held him, pressed kisses to his cheeks and it was making Taekwoon giggle, timidly at first but as Hakyeon burst out laughing in utter delight, he didn’t hold back either.

Hakyeon only calmed down enough to say, “I like your voice. Could use some practice though,” before kissing Taekwoon deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this kinda sucked  
> Aaaand the fic came to an end uwu


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